Road users: why these types of cyclists are particularly annoying


Why these types of cyclists are particularly annoying

Road users: why these types of cyclists are particularly annoying-users

Typical case of a herd cyclist. Like a large leisurely crowd move across the street. Most of them are good-humored tourists who take a bike tour around the cityen. Speed ​​is not an issue for them – much to the chagrin of the locals who want to get to work quickly.

Source: Getty Images / Image Source

In the summer months, Berlin almost turns into a little Amsterdam when it comes to two-wheeler density. But a cyclist is far from being the same as a cyclist. And not all of them like each other. A typology.

S.once it gets warm, you can no longer stop. All over Berlin’s streets are teeming with cyclists. The nice thing about it: cyclists don’t pollute the environment, they don’t clog main traffic axes, and they do something good for themselves by pedaling.

The not so nice: Cyclists thunder down the sidewalks, drive over red lights, unsettle motorists and frighten bus drivers with wild overtaking maneuvers.

The police stepped up controls this year, and the city is planning more cycle paths. Both are good ways to avoid conflict between cyclists and the rest of the world. A typology of cyclists in Berlin.

The suit cyclist wants to compensate

Here, what doesn’t belong together grows together: Of all possible clothing, the suit for the bike is definitely the worst – we don’t want to go into too much detail now on the topics of virgin wool, human sweat and chain oil. What drives the performers of this combination can only be guessed at for a reasonably normal brain.

Cyclists in suit are presumably those contemporaries who actually want to be different than they are for reasons of conscience, but never take the last step and now compensate for that with an ostensibly sensible compromise: "Yes, I have rationalized hundreds of jobs through my work, but I protect the environment and do something for my fitness on the way to work. ”What do you say about that? Maybe: Dear people, the jobs don’t come back just by ruining your suit.

Or: If you want to at least honor the suit, you should take a taxi. Or: Have you ever seen someone in a suit doing something for their fitness? Or: If you change your job towards something charitable, then you no longer have to protect the environment and can buy a car with a clear conscience. You can then sit in it as you want, naked if necessary. Nobody sees it. In any case, anything is better than a suit and bike combination.

The bicycle courier sees itself as a subculture

For him, the road is a professional affair. The bicycle courier is comparable to the taxi driver. All others are amateurs. He alone is the professional. Unlike the deputy, he doesn’t tell you that. But he lets the outdated average cyclist feel that he despises him. And deeply. The bicycle courier is not out and about on a bike either, but with sports equipment.

The bicycle courier is already the hero of a movie: “Premium Rush” – an action film with a pedal. If you imagine a film about e-bikers, you will immediately understand that you have seen the image of the couriers, even without Premium Rush. Bicycle couriers are said to be 30 percent faster than car drivers on distances of less than five kilometers.

Bicycle couriers have been around since the 19th century, but they didn’t really pick up speed in Germany until the 1990s, when the rest of the traffic came to a standstill. Bicycle couriers feel they are part of a subculture. The rebels of the street. They also make this clear through their equipment.

The courier is a minimalist. There are absolutely no accessories on your bike. Even necessary parts of the equipment are considered decadent. Brakes? I’m not making a fool of myself. Gear shifting also runs counter to aesthetic dogma. Bicycle couriers only take part in traffic to a limited extent. You have a bigger job than just delivering mail or parcels. Your route is totally optimized. Your life is a constant race against time.

The Dorfmuttitransport exemplifies an idyll

The village mother, it should be said immediately to avoid confusion, can be both male and female. Gender is not important, the basic attitude is important: I gave birth to German university graduates here in the middle of the demographic crisis. Here they go: Leon and Karlotta. So make room for me.

The village mother lives in the middle of the big city, but she lives a rural idyll for the children. This is how it behaves in traffic: What? You can of course cross a four-lane street without looking left and right, after all, the organic supermarket is on the other side.

Because I drive so comfortably, you can see me from afar. Traffic lights? Well, don’t we all prefer to live in such a way that we show consideration for each other? And then I have the right of way: Leon has the natural diapers full.

You can recognize the village mother by the practical functional clothing. And it is extremely important that you recognize her early, because the trailers in which she transports her children are mostly hidden by other cars, especially from the perspective of drivers. In most cases, you only discover this extreme elongation of the cyclist at the last moment and then you have to brake hard.

The village mother then brakes and looks at you reproachfully. Her look says: "If this country continues to be so child-unfriendly, it will come to a sad end."

The deputy-sheriff-on-bike roars the injustice

The deputy is the last upright man in a world of outlaws. In his opinion, even the law enforcement officer appointed by the state neglects the sacred duty of maintaining order on the streets. The deputy has a lot to do and is therefore on duty around the clock.

You don’t have to recognize the deputy, he recognizes you. "Wrong direction", he shouts in the direction when you are in such a direction on the bike path. "Cell phone off" when you are on the phone. If you stop next to him at the traffic lights, he will be happy to explain the road safety of the neighboring bike. "The basket is too small for the bag." "The lamp does not comply with the regulations."

The deputy never speaks to you directly, you are lost anyway. He yells out the injustice out loud, underlaid with an eager ringing of the bell so that everyone can hear what’s going on here again. He’s just the deputy, he doesn’t want to hunt down his victim, he just shoots it. The deputy in his usual appearance is harmless. If it doesn’t yell so loudly that you fall off your bike in shock, it won’t cause accidents.

It only becomes difficult when he feels promoted to sheriff. Then he slows you down or overtakes you without keeping your distance if he thinks you are too centered on the bike path. Then there is a collision.

The like-a-bike child rides over feet

Leon-Lucas ’first bike is actually not one. It has no pedals and no chain drive, but Leon-Lucas can use it to dash over the feet of unsuspecting passers-by very quickly, and despite its comparatively low weight, he is only three, can cause some damage.

Leon-Luca’s mother, who previously drove him around like a kangaroo mom in a cargo bike from Copenhagen’s ex-hippie district Christiana, is now very proud that he has outgrown her tub.

She enthusiastically praises Leon-Lucas for how great he does everything. The parents accompanying Like-a-Bike absolutely cannot stand criticism of the offspring. Instead of apologizing, they expect you to be just as happy while holding your aching foot. The like-a-bike was expensive enough, on average 200 euros, so parents have to be grateful when it is used. D.

Of course, the short like-a-bike rider has long since noticed that his anarchic behavior is causing storms of delight at the producer. He also noticed that road users at eye level, i.e. cats and dogs, have completely different means of defending themselves if you hit them.

So he’s focusing entirely on adults on his sidewalk crusade. Who dares to piss off a small child? He takes a run, aims, jostles, and then he enjoys the lightly pressed words: "Well, what kind of cute face are you?" At the moment he is making the sidewalks unsafe, but when he is tall, then the fighting zone is expanded the like-a-bike cyclist wants to become a combat cyclist. This is his dream.

The pack cyclist starts off in third gear

The pack cyclist comes in two versions. Once as a wolf pack that strictly follows Darwinism. A crowd of cyclists suddenly see themselves forced by traffic lights or the like to kick each other in a confined space. Other types of cyclist would now form a string of pearls on the cycle path, but the pack cyclist cannot give up, he wants to be the first.

The Leitradler. A pack cyclist is not to be underestimated, at the moment of the fight for the lead the pack cyclists forget that they are not the only road users. In that they are similar to harmless variants, to a herd cyclist. The herd cyclist moves across the street like a large, leisurely crowd. Mostly they are tourists from countries where you have seen bicycles on television in the best of cases. Now, for the first time, you are sitting on one yourself.

Fascinated by movement, which they keep to a minimum, they are so caught up in what they are doing that they no longer follow the city tour they are currently taking part in. The herd cyclist always starts off in third gear and then shakes the handlebars tremendously. Often it simply falls over, and it often hits passers-by. But he’s very happy. Wow, Europe is so exciting.

The combat cyclist abhorred traffic rules

The top priority is that it must go on. The combat cyclist cannot be stopped by anything. Slow cyclists in front of him on the bike path have to be overtaken, and if you drive around three Vietnamese florists who are just delivering their goods, then that couldn’t be changed. The battle cyclist is like the tide. He just pulls everything with him, the main thing is that his course is not disturbed.

Red light? Does not matter. The bus flashes and pulls up to the bus stop on the right? Then just drive through the waiting people, into the oncoming traffic or drive in the middle of the street. Right before left? Not if you are faster. The combat cyclist thinks he’s a high-speed tank helicopter in an action movie. Nothing can harm him. Its natural enemy is the bus. It has to be constantly challenged.

All other road users are not worthy of attacking them directly. You’re just collateral damage. Staying on the bike path is not an option for the combat cyclist. He has a mission to carry out. He has to achieve his goal. His work, for which he is now filling up with testosterone on the street.

He can’t bother with little things like traffic rules that apply to the rest of the mediocre world. However, there is also a sad side to the combat eagle. He’s lonely at the core of his 24-speed bike.

The combat bike only works when it is surrounded by other road users. He could not survive in the village without being able to rivet a pedestrian, shock public transport operators, or abruptly jump up and down sidewalks. The monotony of an eternally long avenue would be the end of it. And what excitement lies in riveting a tractor?

The sleep cyclist doesn’t want to sweat

She likes to wear nice clothes. A skirt that is too tight, a sundress blowing in the wind, a pretty blouse. It is actually already clear why the lame duck on the bike path, sometimes even on the sidewalk, can often not do otherwise. Then there are the headphones in the ear with pleasantly non-stressful music that is often sung along.

Most of the time, this person is also forced to get up early and cannot understand the hustle and bustle around them. Just don’t stress and just don’t work up a sweat, your clothes should still look good after your arrival.

So it happens that this dreamy species is often perceived as still asleep on the bike. The sleep cyclist does not notice how she becomes a traffic obstruction because she or, more rarely, he does not even notice that there is such a thing as a perceived minimum speed on the cycle path.

Let’s put it this way, you should drive faster than pedestrians go. Otherwise you could go on foot. The sleep cyclist would never subscribe to this distinction. Because in their rested world, driving slowly is better than walking fast. Because it’s less strenuous. Very easily. Yes, sleep cyclist for you, just for you.

The e-bike cyclist is often a bit older

E-biking is cycling in a trance. You can pedal a bit for a better look, but that’s basically unnecessary. The e-bike actually hums to itself on its own. This is why it was invented, the additional operation that does not depend on pedaling. You can also have a voting line that requires you to pedal a little. But actually: e-bikers let them cycle.

In Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania, a variant is currently being tested in which electric bicycles will replace the intercity bus. They are rented only for the journey from one stop to the next. The picture of the bus fits very well. E-bikers are just as comfortable on the go. But that’s exactly why the newcomer is not particularly popular in the big city. Because of their suburban mentality, e-bikers like to block the bike paths.

As with the hen and the egg, it is not entirely clear which came first: Was the e-bike purchased because the cyclist had too big a buttock for a normal bike, or has the butt only developed into a traffic obstacle since the cyclist began? lets you ride your e-bike?

E-bikes are being seen more and more often in traffic, and it is noticeable that most of them are not yet fully developed. On the one hand, it takes a while for cyclists to get used to the fact that the bike pushes them all at once, and on the other hand, there are still some safety deficiencies with one or the other model. Seniors like to ride the e-bike, but from a development point of view it is the baby of the cycling scene. It still has to grow a bit before everyone can really ride along.

The cyclist-cyclist is always in a good mood

The Radler has just come out of the beer garden and is in a great mood. Because the conversation has not yet ended and there is still so much to say, one cyclist likes to ride in the middle of the street next to the other cyclist so that one can better exchange ideas. When motorists complain about this, the cyclist vehemently defends himself with cheerfully drunk Hey-Ho shouts.

The cyclist is just a sociable guy, the evening is not over yet, this way home is still part of it. In Berlin in particular, the cyclist is a frequent sight, the distances are long, the city is big and on the way home from the Cafe am Neuen See to Prenzlauer Berg the alcohol has enough time to be properly pumped through the blood.

The cyclist becomes more and more drunk, trusting and happy while cycling. At every traffic light there has to be someone new to talk to. The Radler is mostly a lawyer or business consultant or something serious. However, it learned to ride while drunk while studying in Munster or Heidelberg. It did that every evening. In his current life there is actually no more time for cycling, but the cyclist doesn’t really want to admit that.

That’s why it’s all the more euphoric when it’s finally allowed to take its Gazelle Dutch bike out again. Some cyclists also have sleeping children at home. In that case, by the way, they switched to a racing bike. Then you have a better excuse on the weekend when the woman wants you to look after the children too.

Then you can say: “You honey, you always wanted me to start my own hobby. Racing bike, that’s my business now. And I work so hard to feed you and the sparrow. "

When the cyclist rides home on his racing bike from the beer garden, however, there is a slightly greater risk that it will tip over in between. If you are a cyclist, then you are used to it.

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