How to really flirt at traffic lights and in traffic jams
Would you jump on it? Many Germans use compulsory breaks in the car to flirt
Source: dpa-tmn / DPA / Andrea Warnecke
Jin every bad there is its good. Traffic jams and long stops at traffic lights, for example. Of course, it’s annoying when the journey doesn’t go on. But smiling is worth it – not least because traffic lights and traffic jams offer great opportunities for a flirt. With a bit of luck, there will be an attractive person in the car in the neighboring lane who will get involved in the game. “That relaxes you,” says Jurgen Merz, traffic psychologist at TuV Sud. And serves traffic safety: Because if you are relaxed, according to the expert, you drive more attentively.
Many Germans seem to have realized that. In a survey by the market research institute Innofact, almost three quarters said they had flirted with other road users before. Around a third of them regularly use compulsory breaks in front of traffic lights and in traffic jams.
The sociability of the drivers does not surprise the flirting expert and bestselling author Phillip von Senftleben. “The car is a kind of protective cage. The inhibition threshold is lower, you only need a minimum of courage. ”And if you get a basket, you can simply turn your gaze back to the road – as if nothing had happened. "Behind the protective wall made of sheet metal and glass, it is easier to cope with a discharge," explains von Senftleben.
First eye contact is of course a prerequisite for flirting. It cannot be made as easily from car to car as it is at a bar, here the protective cage proves to be an obstacle. Fortuna therefore has to help a little when contacting us. Waving is also allowed. However, do not rev the engine or screech the tires. "That should be embarrassing for everyone involved," says von Senftleben. “Unless you’re at the wheel of a junk truck – then that’s funny and shows self-irony. The same applies when a woman plays with the gas and caricatures macho airs. "
A cavalier start or intrusive honking could be understood as a hit. And that has little to do with flirting. "Flirting can be understood as a brief mutual erotic appreciation – a smile that means: We find each other attractive," explains the Essen psychologist and couples therapist Rudiger Wacker. Hitting on is an aggressive form of flirting, goal-oriented and selfish. “That’s rather clumsy,” says Wacker. Dredging therefore easily spoils the chance of a flirt.
The car can play a role as an eye-catcher, whether a flirt occurs or not. "Studies after women look more at status cars like high-quality SUVs," says psychologist Merz. “You envision a certain type of man in it. Someone who has both feet on the ground, who is successful and strong. "Women tended to arouse the interest of men in a small, colorful city car -" that makes a funny impression ".
Phillip von Senftleben points out that women are usually much more pragmatic when choosing their car than men. “A woman’s car therefore often doesn’t say as much about her as a man’s car does about him.” On the other hand, he is convinced that women with a strong sense of family react more to a luxury estate car driver than to the Porsche convertible type. "The noble combination stands for status and pragmatism, the Porsche for daredevil and success, but not necessarily for consistency and loyalty," explains the flirting professional.
Motorcyclists have the best chances of flirting, despite their helmets. "I never got more response to a wave than from my motorcycle seat," reports von Senftleben. “There’s something mysterious about the helmet. And an impressive machine exudes so much masculinity that it has a disarming effect on women. "If the attention is secured, he advises flirtatious bikers:" Open your visor, smile, hope that she will open the window – and then find suitable words.
The traffic light flirt in itself is a game. But what do you do if it sparks? Without exchanging contact details, a reunion is unlikely. However, Merz advises against revealing too much about yourself too quickly. After all, the person opposite is a total stranger.
Scribbling his cell phone number or email address on an old parking ticket and passing it on or writing the number on the side window with lipstick in a traffic jam is not dangerous for him. But it is better not to reveal your private address. And a spontaneous meeting in a remote parking lot isn’t a good idea either, warns Merz. "A busy street offers more security."
Von Senftleben recommends that it is pretty clever to always have a business card to hand in the car. It’s easy to pass from window to window and doesn’t reveal too much, but enough for an appointment. "You can also wave it around to draw attention to yourself for a flirt."
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